Got to grow up!

Yes I am only 16 yet feel like five. Not that is a bad thing or anything but I don't know how long I can keep that up, So much has happened this summer that I will never forget, Most bad however its mostly change-Bad Change. Sometimes people say any change is good, I would disagree.
The changes that has happened on my long three month summer holidays were:

1. Freeing my mind to go to college (however this failed, and I am staying back a year so I don't know what my mind is thinking right now)
2. My good byes to everyone in my old school- I cried so much that I was not going back to school, and now I am really going there its strange. Like I am not meant to be here, but I am.
3. Not seeing my classmates-Many if not all my friends have moved on to college and I have remained and stayed.
4. coping with shame and embarrassment- I will soon find out about this tomorrow, Its going to be my first day at my old school again. And I don't know how all my other friends and teachers will say. 
5. Responsibility- I just realized I need to do so many things!! I.e learn to drive and get a job! 
6. so many other small things that are just pity but I need to do!

I also need to grow up and learn not to rely on my parents and my brothers and sisters for stuff like driving me around, taking places (I have never used the bus on my own before)and getting a haircut. I think I am giving myself a wake up call (if that is even possible). So I deiced to take small baby steps in reaching my goal. 

Hopefully this would all work out fine. Until then I will just dream. 

xxxoxxx